Blizzard at last detailed the much-discussed Overwatch Priority Pass that’s been the hottest within the game’s online community since Game Director and master of the universe, Jeff Kaplan, announced it earlier this week. The contents of the pass weren’t as controversial as Jeff’s apparent swift and violent transformation into Casey Neistat, both in terms of vlogging and sunglasses styles.
But even though no one ever saw Neistat and Jeff in the same room, we’ll concur that we’re digressing ever so slightly here. The main topic of the day is the Overwatch Priority Pass that Blizzard says is a straightforward affair: it’s all about maximizing the fun players have while leisurly grinding FOMO-inducing time-limited events for 17.5 hours per day, every day, until for the rest of their sorry lives. Oh, and also money.
It’s about Blizzard accumulating more money. We’re not sure where that last batch disappeared but sources say they saw Bobby Kotick driving a pallet car carrying quite a few bags with strickenthrough Ss this afternoon. He was apparently heading for the 75th floor, even though no one ever heard of anything past the 60th floor back at the HQ. Oh well, don’t forget to have fun later today, especially between the 16th and 17th grinding hour!
We’ll make sure you get some bonus Priority Pass uses as a reward for that sacrifice, ok? Nah, don’t mention it!