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PS5 Owners Turn To Car Paint Jobs Since Sony is a Special Snowflake

The first thing many early adopters of the PlayStation 5 console are doing after getting their hands on this magical product currently rarer than traces of AB negative blood in HP LaserJet 1160 ink cartridges is – to ring up their chop shop pal, and do a mean paint job, of course!

Because, in case you haven’t heard, Sony canceled the black PS5 model, or at least won’t be manufacturing one for the foreseeable future. The future is all clean, you see. Well, maybe the Japanese game on the set of Gravity (even there wouldn’t be safe for dust vents due to McConaughey’stubs flying all over the place), but real gamers in the US of A sometimes don’t have the luxury of pristinely clean and air-sealed environments.

So, you can bet whatever you want that we need that PS5 to be black because lord almighty isn’t going to clean that white finish every five seconds since first thinking about the possibility of peaking inside the retail packaging. Like, seriously, is Sony planning to launch a new vynil business and this is just a long ploy to get everyone to be absolutely disgusted by the state of their PS5s? No amount of disgust would make most clean it anyway, so why else?