If I could make money writing about nothing but cheap (usually free), low-budget indie games and nothing else, the world would be a much nicer place overall, I’d assume. Indie games are sort of a fixation I’ve had for a while now- I buy at least two times as more indie games than I do in-store releases. Part of it is to support up and coming developers, but the real reason, the real drive is the fact that, once you get past Minecraft and Bastion, indie games get straight-up WEIRD. Like, Silence of the Lambs levels of “who the hell thought of this” kind of weird.
Skeptical? I would be, too. But read on, and I’ll make a believer out of you.
These are the top 5 weirdest Indie Games you’ve never played:
ULITSA DIMITROVA
It’s already won three awards back in 2010, so let’s give it another- MOST DEPRESSING INDIE GAME OF ALL TIME.
The game starts off with you, a seven year-old homeless boy in St. Petersburg, crawling out of a dumpster. You are hungry and thirsty, but you are also a chainsmoker, so your main priority is getting cigarettes. To do this, you have to go around with a crowbar smashing windows of liquor stores, stealing alcohol, and nabbing the hood ornaments off of cars, and then proceed to trade all of the above with strange people on the street. You eventually meet a girl who likes you, but her mother takes her away. Your mother is a prostitute who gives you your cigarette fix in exchange for booze. If you stop moving for a little while you lie down on the ground, get covered in light snowfall, and freeze to death.
This indie game is great for those spoiled brat kids running around cracking their iphones and telling off “the man”. In fact, it’s great for kids in general.–> Download Link
SUPER SEXY SWISS CARDIO FRENETIC AMBULANCE TRANSPLANT TEAM
This indie title owes its spectacular, game-changing, next-gen-shaming art design to the wonderful program MS Paint, and its voices to thickly-accented swiss males. Not “cis-males” you gender-crazed nutjobs, “swiss males”.
S.S.S.C.F.A.T.T. has the player and two of his victims- AHEM, friends- control one of three roles within your average, everyday ambulance driving to the hospital; one man drives, one man holds the patient’s heart on his hand and pumps it to keep it alive, and the last man squeegees the blood from the heart off the windshield so the driver can see. And trust me when I say he NEEDS to see where he’s going, because at any point in the middle of the road you could hit anything from oncoming traffic to the Angel of Death himself.
If you and your buds can get past the painfully-archaic graphics, holy crap, you are in for a “frenetic” ride.–> Download Link
BROMANCING SAGA 2: BROFESSIONAL MANSASSINS
“Yo bro. Bro. Bro. BRO! This indie game, bro, it’s like, broh, this indie game was made just for us bro.
“Forget Broforce bro, this game’s intense, bro. Like, broseph, we gotta put our fingers on the keyboard like this- yeah they’re supposed to be interlocking, bro- and we gotta fight off aliens and brofist each other and hug ‘n all- bro, bro I’m not gay. Brosiedon! BRODIN! BROKI COME BACK!”
This game was made for bros. In MS Paint. –> Download Here
MEGAMAN SPRITE GAME
Mega Man’s looking a bit… Sickly… Lately…
This indie game is based off of a Tumblr comic called “Megaman Sprite Comic”, and features RPG style gameplay as Mega Man- or whatever sick, twisted version of him and his friends this is supposed to be- have to go kick some ghost butt. I this game can’t really be described in our primitive language, only experienced.
Check out the comic while you’re at it- you might enjoy it, who knows?–> Download here.
NEED FOR WEED: 3D
I can’t. I just can’t.
So in this indie game, you’re a drug dealer in a town populated by 2D NPCs. The best way to get money is to kill these NPCs. Boom, dead, now you have cash to go buy cheeseburgers and sprite. Oh, but they’re not for you- they’re to feed the “Budosaurs”- essentially Pokemon whose sole purpose is to grow cannibis from their back. After this cash is exhausted, you can wander a massive empty field, shooting 2D smiley faces and… It makes a lot more sense when you’re high as a kite.
Like every other indie game on this list on this list, it’s 100% free, so check it out! –> Download Here
