Over at the land of the eternal crunch, the poor souls in charge of revamping Anthem are checking in with another update. Which is as uplifting as such a brief can be, considering the only way to save this thing is to sacrifice the source code for the original dumpster fire on the altair of Naoki Yoshida and pray for senpai to grace EA with his presence and pull another final Fantasy XIV out of thin air.
Coincidentally, thin air has reportedly been found in abundant quantities across all of Bioware’s creative energy tanks post-2019. To such a degree that scientists are speculating life could actually be possible in that barren wasteland-shaped reminder for how hard a fall from grace can be. But, before Elon Musk invades Austin, Texas our emancipated devs are reporting in with another update.
The highlight of this month’s Anthem news is a picture three cute dogs and a passably endearing human baby, all belonging to Bioware ATX Studio Director Christian Dailey. Trust me, I wish I was making this up.
As for the game, do not attempt to grasp anything resembling hope. Anthem is going down, ARPG fans should count their pre-ordered losses and move on, living to grind another day.