With Spring break coming to an impending end (as in tomorrow for most) I decided it was as good a time as any to compile a list of video game characters whom I would have like to have as a school teacher. Now, this list is automatically excluding characters who already play “teacher roles” in games giving some of the unorthodox a chance to take the helm of a class.
Back to school can be a trying time for students. The stresses of not knowing who all will be in your class or who will be teaching said class can really take its toll. Weeks leading up it’s often all that is on your mind and the suspense can be overbearing until you finally get your schedule and you see a number of new teachers. Anxiety sets in as you wonder who these new teachers are. Among the stresses of trying to investigate the background of your new homeroom teacher you’re also presented with the troubles of (if you’re going into high school) your growing teenage body. Yes, that’s right, you’re now of the age where deodorant becomes a necessity (unless you decide to say “to hell with those conformist ways” and embrace your natural self) and you begin the struggles of trying to decipher the foreign ways of the opposite sex.
Yes, back to school can be a horrible time, but it can also be a great time. Something to help with the struggles is having a great teacher who not only makes the transition easy, but also knows what the heck it is they’re talking about when teaching a lesson (if they’re standing up front reading word for word from a textbook chances are they didn’t do their homework). Without further ado, I present to you my list of video game characters who I would have liked to have as a teacher.
Phoenix Wright – Law
This one is almost too obvious. Phoenix Wright is the protagonist from the popular games by the same name “Phoenix Wright.” Mr. Wright is a successful lawyer in the game series with a strong track record (only one loss to date) who is known for turning hopeless cases around to find his defendant innocent. Mr. Wright would be a perfect fit for a Law class. He would be able to teach students how to properly debate (constantly shouting “objection!” is a good start) not to mention his skills in the piano would allow him to substitute for a music class when needed. Phoenix Wrights success in the courtroom and his skills as a professional poker player would make it hard for any student to get one over him.
Nathan Drake – History
Nathan Drake is the main protagonist in the Uncharted game series and his time spent as a treasure hunter would make him a shoe-in as a history teacher. Mr. Drake has traveled many parts of the world while acquiring many priceless artifacts. Alongside the many hair raising personal experience stories Drake would have to share, he would have no problem going into full historical details. Not to mention his experience in Latin would be sure to make an interesting lesson.
Delsin Rowe – Art
Delsin Rowe is the main protagonist in InFamous: Second Son. Despite his anti-authoritarian personality (he would for sure give the principle some headaches) Delsin’s love for art (especially street art) would make him an engaging art teacher. Delsin would have no problem leading a class, I mean, he did lead a successful rebellion against a government organization.
Isaac Clarke – Tech
Isaac Clark is the protagonist from the Dead Space series. In the game, Clarke is a systems engineer working for the Concordance Extraction Corporation. Clarke’s hands on experience with systems technology would give him a strong foundation for teaching an engineering class. The only downfall would be his mental disorder that may cause him to suffer from dementia mid-lecture. I’m sure the school boards would be willing to overlook that minor detail, right?
Nigel Burke – Biology
Now, this one is a bit of a stretch. Nigel Burke is the protagonist surgeon from the game Surgeon Simulator. The way I see it, after leading a successful career as a surgeon (really, depending on who is playing), so successful that he received the title of “Best Surgeon in the Universe” after operating on an alien, Burke retires from the field of sloppy operations to pursue a promising career as a Biology teacher. Of course, this is all conditional. Burke would have to stop consuming so much coffee in order to reduce his uncontrollable hand spasms as he wields a scalpel around students.
